Tuesday, November 27, 2012

My Big Come Back!

We have a lot of ground to cover so this is likely to be a long post!  Grab a cup of coffee and settle in!

When last I left you, Dear Friends, I had embarked on the 21 day challenge (again).  Here is a summary of that:

Day 1:  Just me, the kids, Super Storm Sandy and 5 boxes of Girl Scout cookies.  I didn’t eat any, but I spent the day sulking; cursing the Girl Scouts and their stupid cookies.

Day 2:  Just me, the kids, Super Storm Sandy and 3 boxes of Girl Scout cookies.  I didn’t eat the 2 missing boxes but I did spend the day sulking; cursing the Girl Scouts, their stupid cookies and my kids for eating 2 boxes of my favorite stupid cookies.

Day 3:  HALLOWEEN.  “FUN SIZED” Butterfingers.  Enough said.

Day 3B:  Apparently some Butterfingers survived. 

Day 3C:  This is starting to feel like Ground Hog’s Day.  At this rate, it will take me 365 days to complete my 21 day challenge. 

Day 3D:  …….

Day 3E:  …….


And that is when I found myself lost in an extended “FUN SIZED” sugar coma.  I remained in that coma until Thanksgiving.

It’s kind of scary to think how quickly I fell back into the same bad habits.  At first it was life that kept me from getting to class.  Illnesses, family member surgeries, school projects, etc.  Then less important things that should never have taken priority over my making healthy choices.  I learned that I need to be careful about guarding my time.  My class time is MY time.  When I take MY time I am a better mother, wife, friend…I’m a much better ME.  When I allow things to cut into that time and take me off course I lose ME…at least I lose site of the path to the me I’d really like to be.

Maybe I got scared because I knew I was on the right path to a “new” me.  It seems silly but a lot of my personality is wrapped up in the current me.  Maybe somewhere deep down I’m scared of this new lifestyle.  What if I don’t fit in?  I’m calling a therapist as soon as I post this!

I was really starting to beat myself up when I heard one my favorite songs on the radio.  Part of the chorus says, “I have fallen so far; flat on my face. I’m in need of Your grace today.”  GRACE.  I think about it all of the time.  I talk about it all of the time.  How do we extend grace to ourselves and others?  I wasn’t doing such a hot job.  I wasn’t the only one struggling.  In fact, people who I thought had ROCK SOLID discipline and resolve were facing the same challenges I was facing.  I’m grateful for that lesson.  I won’t wait to reach out to others if I find myself back in that place.  It was through others that I was able to see that it was time to get out of the coma.  We all deserve to be the best versions of ourselves.  If I don’t fit in, I’ll just MAKE ROOM!

So I went to PUMP last night.  Apparently they have a new guy.  Obi wan and the new guy were on stage.  They were so cute bad a$$ in their matching red & black outfits.  I am quite certain that Obi wan said the new guy’s name but that is not important.  All you need to know is that he was more than a little yummy and I couldn’t look directly at him.  He mentioned he has a daughter.  I imagine with his DNA, his daughter looks like the sun reflecting off of freshly fallen snow.  Big deep sigh…

Oh, and I was having a BAD BOOB day!  I had put on the sports bra that doesn’t quite hold up very well.  My girls were spilling out when I did my dead lifts and rows.  They weren’t busting out in that, “I’m 20 and look how perky my boobs are” kind of way…OH NO…they were more like that, “I’m 38, have a bunch of kids and don’t my boobs look like a busted can of biscuits?” kind of way. 

Every time I stopped for a minute, he was looking at me.  I am a paranoid person by nature.  I always think they are looking at me when I stop – he really wasn’t looking at me.  But he reminded me of one of those portraits that hang in a haunted house.  You know the ones that look at you no matter where you go in the room?  He was JUST LIKE THAT – only way too cute to be scary.

Anyway…it felt like starting all over again because I haven’t been there…and everything but my eyelids hurt this morning.  I actually kind of missed this feeling!

I could not wait to get to COMBAT tonight.  Silly me…

When MegHan said we were splitting the room!?  I wanted to pee my pants, throw up and run from the room…probably in that order.

I flashed back to the last time she did this…

She parted the room like Moses.  Everyone listens to her because…well…she’s bossy got the gloves and her muscles have muscles.

The people from the front were facing the people who try to hide in the back.  Instead of being hidden in the back, I had a bunch of women facing me.  Meg was in front of me, her back to me.  Lord…please let us just bow to one another and go back to our original positions.


Meg turned around, but she wasn’t Meg anymore.  There was a new expression there.

I thought I may have heard her yell, “Freeeedom!!!”

She made us CHARGE each other…then pretend to punch each other…then run away.

Oh – I forgot the taunting…she had her hands up by her head in a NEENER NEENER YOU LOOK LIKE A WEINER kind of way and she was saying, “Nah nah nah”  She was singing an anthem to my inner child before she made us run.

Then CHARGE (again)…punch…run away

It continued…


and over…

and over…

because breathing is apparently overrated when you’re Meg.

EVERYONE could see me.  There were no secret water breaks during this track.  I started hoping someone would actually punch me in the face and knock me out so I could rest.  No such luck!

Then she had us fight zombies with our claws.  She looked all fierce.  I was all like, “THUNDER CATS…HOOOOOOO!” 
According to my 14-year-old, you can kill a zombie with the following weapons:

·        Shot gun

·        Glock

·        AK47

I'm sorry but our claws are not going to take out any zombies and after the running and charging I was pretty sure we should have been in cool down already!  There were more options on the list of acceptable weapons but CLAWS were NOT. 
In case you were worrying about how to survive a zombie apocalypse, Google has all of the resources you need.  According to one of them, us chubby ones should be careful because we’re sitting ducks.  Reason 4,987 I need to lose this weight:  TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE ATTACK!

So you are all caught up!  This fight is an uphill battle.  It’s fought on a slippery slope, made up of Butterfingers and stupid cookies.  There are zombies at the bottom.  I need to claw and scratch to stay away from them.

I can’t say that I’ll never be flat on my face again, but I can say that I’ll never stop getting back up.

I’m staying with the fight!

P.S. Inner Child here!  Just tried to stand up from the computer chair.  I believe I speak on behalf of all of the large muscle groups when I say, “NEW BOY ain’t pretty enough to get away with hurting us like this and Meg is a *&^%$…”

Voice of REASON taking over to finish that last sentence…Meg is a beautiful lady.